


a good friend and person, not a creature of pathos

by Veraison



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Fever Dreams, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Prophetic Dreams, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28634979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veraison/pseuds/Veraison
Summary: "Am I safe here?” Laurent asked. He was holding his knees close to his chest.“Of course you are,” Nikandros said. The broth and tea were both still boiling hot. “Jord is just outside of the door.”Laurent pulled the covers closer to himself. “And you are here.”“And I am here,” Nikandros repeated after Laurent, surprised that was something Laurent found comfort in. He took the broth bowl from the table. “Can you eat a little?”“My hands are weak.” Laurent lifted them. “And shaking.”“I can feed you,” Nikandros replied. He had done it with Damen too, after the fight with Kastor.----Laurent is ill. Damen goes to deal with his kingly duties. Nikandros does his best.
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince), Laurent & Nikandros (Captive Prince)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 132





	a good friend and person, not a creature of pathos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anyeze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyeze/gifts).



There had been a raid on the coastline. That was nothing new, Nikandros knew that it happened every now and then. But this time they had lasted for a long time and the losses were greater than before.

“I have to go,” Damianos had said and Nikandros had not disagreed. Laurent, however, had, quite strongly.

The kings did not like working apart, everyone knew that, but they did it when they had to. Both of them would not be needed at the coast. And this time, Laurent would not be able to go, even if they could spare both kings away from Ios. Laurent had caught a fever. His coughing had kept both him and Damen awake for a week now. He used enough handkerchiefs to fill the laundry on his own. 

“You are not going,” Lauret told Damen, as if that was final.

Damen shook his head. “I am. They need me. You know this.”

Laurent looked at Nikandros. “Allow us a moment alone.” It was not a question.

As soon as they were alone, Laurent hid his face into his hands.

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

Damen did not know what to say. He did have to, because Laurent kept talking, almost rambling.

“The last time this happened. It was eight years ago. It was at-”

Marlas, Damen filled on his own.

“You know I do not believe in soothsayers and the like. But this feeling, an emptiness, a coldness, behind my ribs, so close to my heart… They used to say my mother knew her own death was coming.”

Damen sat down and held Laurent’s hand. “Sweetheart, you are ill. You have not slept well, of course you feel out of sorts.”

Laurent snatched his hand away and crossed them, trying to hide the shaking.

“You do not believe me. It might be intuition. We do not know enough about these raiders. Who are they? What they want? What if this is a trap?”

Damen kept his eyes on Laurent’s hands. “You are shaking.”

“You are avoiding my questions.”

“Because they make no sense. Raiding has been a problem for Akielos always. It comes with a long coastline. The raiders are people from other islands, you know as well as me that the winter was harsh. They need food and we have more than them.”

“Yes, that is how you see it. Of course, because you do not understand deception. There can be multiple motives for this. Maybe they plan to kill you.”

“I know you are worried.” Damen turned Laurent’s face to him. “You do not have to be. Stay here and rest, get better. Paschal should really listen to your lungs again. They do not sound good.”

“So now you are not only a king, but a foreteller and a physician also.” Laurent let himself be kissed.

Damen left. Nikandros watched as he rode away. As always nowadays, when the kings were separated, Damen asked Nikandros to stay with Laurent. 

“Please,” Damen had said, “he is sick and fears for me. Make sure he rests, nothing more.”

Nothing more? As if keeping Laurent resting was so easy. When Nikandros came back to the Kings’ rooms, Laurent was already dressed, standing by the window. 

“He left,” Laurent said, more to himself than Nikandros. “I was hoping he would stay. I offered to suck him off.”

Nikandros grimaced. “I did not need to know that. Why are you dressed, anyway?”

“Oh, you would prefer me naked?”

Nikandros was going to make Damen give him a vacation at the Summer Palace.

“No. But you should be in bed.”

“Naked and in bed?” Laurent smirked. “Nikandros, you keep surprising me.”

“You know what I mean.” Nikandros sighed. He walked next to Laurent. They both stood by the window, hoping Damen would already come back.

Nikandros had already failed. Laurent had gone to give someone some instructions on something. Nikandros was quite sure they were not even needed, most likely Laurent needed something to do. Nikandros sighed. Damen would be angry if Laurent was worse when he got back.

“Alright, it is bedtime for you,” Nikandros told Laurent, who was still writing at his desk.

Laurent did not reply, just continued writing. Nikandros could hear the quill scratching paper. 

“Damen is going to come back tomorrow. Do you think he wants to see you sicker than before?”

Still no answer. Nikandros could feel his blood boiling. He was tired too, he also worried for Damen. If Laurent would just go to bed, they could both sleep until Damen was back. He marched to the desk. Laurent was frozen in place. The paper before him had no clear writing on it, just spirals of ink. His face was pale, but his cheeks were aflame with fever. Nikandros cursed under his breath. He shook Laurent.

“Let’s get you to bed.”

It was almost scary how easily Laurent let himself be led to bed. Nikandros thought about changing him out of his clothes, now wet with sweat. Instead he chose to unlace some of the tightest lacings, hoping it would not cost him his head tomorrow. It was not like he had a choice: for Laurent to sleep in tight and moist clothing in his current state, it would not do. Nikandros started with the strings around Laurent’s wrist, when suddenly Laurent came back to the world of the living.

“What are you doing?” He took his hand back and scrambled away. 

“You were out of it. I was trying to help.”

Then Nikandros understood what had passed. Laurent had been helpless, then brought back by someone undressing him. They had not talked about Laurent’s past more than they had had to, back in Arles, but Nikandros was no fool.

“I apologize,” he said. “I should not have. I let you take it from here.”

Laurent nodded, still staying farther away than usually.

Nikandros was woken up in the middle of the night by Jord bursting into his room.

“His Highness needs you.”

Nikandros did not know what to say. He was about to tell Jord to get Damen, but that was not possible. Otherwise Jord would not be here. Nikandros got up. As they ran through the hallway, Nikandros interrogated Jord.

“What is wrong with him? Has his illness turned for the worse?”

“No,” Jord said, “at least we do not think so. But he is delirious and keeps asking for Damianos.” Jord did his best not to look at Nikandros. “He keeps saying Damianos is not coming back.”

That made Nikandros almost stop. He could not bear to hear his own fear from Laurent’s mouth. But he had promised Damen to take care of Laurent. And Laurent was part of his family, whether either of them liked it. So he followed Jord to the Kings’ door, praying he was not getting a glimpse of his future: without Damen and Laurent gone mad. 

The door opened to a disaster. The pillows and covers had been thrown around the room. A wine decanter was in pieces on the floor. And there, lit only by the blazing in the fireplace, stood Laurent, dressed in his nightshirt. His hair hid half of his face, but what was shown, terrified Nikandros. There were tears flowing down his cheek and his mouth was without color, lips like those of a fish.

“Laurent, what is wrong?” Nikandros asked, bending his knees to appear smaller, a trick he used with scared horses.

“There was a landslide,” Laurent pronounced each word carefully, as if he was talking in a foreign language, afraid of not being understood. “Damen was caught in it.”

“You had a nightmare,” Nikandros countered, keeping his voice steady. “Damianos is at the coast, dealing with the raiders. Right now, he is probably sleeping. You should do the same.”

“Is Damen here?” Laurent asked, as if he had not heard Nikandros.

“No, come on now,” Nikandros whispered and carefully got closer. Laurent allowed himself to be led back to bed. 

Nikandros let Jord know he would stay by Laurent’s side.

Laurent’s sleep was not peaceful. He kept turning and whimpering, grasping air as if trying to reach for something. He would mutter names. He would call for Auguste, or for Damen. Once “Uncle” left his lips, Nikandros woke him up. As soon as he sat up, Laurent had a coughing fit. Nikandros took a handkerchief and gave it to him.

“I will ask for tea.” Nikandros tried to remember the last time Laurent ate. “And some broth for you.”

Laurent said nothing. Nikandros kept his gaze on him as he went to the door and told Jord to pass his order onto the servants.

“Am I safe here?” Laurent asked. He was holding his knees close to his chest.

“Of course you are,” Nikandros said. The broth and tea were both still boiling hot. “Jord is just outside of the door.”

Laurent pulled the covers closer to himself. “And you are here.”

“And I am here,” Nikandros repeated after Laurent, surprised that was something Laurent found comfort in. He took the broth bowl from the table. “Can you eat a little?”

“My hands are weak.” Laurent lifted them. “And shaking.”

“I can feed you,” Nikandros replied. He had done it with Damen too, after the fight with Kastor. 

Laurent’s face went red. “You do not have to do that. I am not a child.” Then his stomach rumbled.

“It is not a problem.” Nikandros stirred the broth and took a spoonful of it and pushed it into Laurent’s direction. Laurent lifted his eyebrow, but opened his mouth. Nikandros fed him quietly. Laurent made no snide remarks, mostly because he had to concentrate on eating with a stuffy nose.

After the bowl was empty, Nikandros switched it with the tea cup.

“Try to drink a little at least.” Nikandros moved the cup close to Laurent’s mouth.

Laurent lowered his face and took a sip.

“Thank you,” he said, after Nikandros had puffed his pillows and helped him lie down again.

“Of course,” Nikandros mumbled, uncomfortable with the gratitude on Laurent’s face.

This time Laurent’s dreams were not so disturbing. At least to Nikandros’ eyes, he slept soundly on his back. 

When the sun came up, Nikandros inhaled deeply. He was free. Damen would soon be back, ready to take care of Laurent again. He glanced at Laurent and chuckled softly. Laurent looked so young and careless. He had thrown his arms next to his face, hair around his head like a halo. Jord opened the door. Nikandros took in the look on his face and felt his stomach drop. He knew bad news when he saw them.

“Nikandros, can you come here for a moment?”

There had been a landslide. It had been a harsh winter, snow had accumulated on the hills. Now it had started to melt and with the rains of the last week, the ground had transformed into mud. The woods had been cut down for new projects, mainly for the new capital Marlas. The king and his entourage had been caught in the slide on their way to the coast. 

“There were only five survivors,” Jord said. “And this.” He handed something dirty and ripped to Nikandros.

It was Damen’s red cape. Nikandros wanted to push his face into it, drop to his knees and never get up.

“Did they find a body?” He had experienced this once before. And he had lived. He would do so again, but he had to be sure.

“No, but the destruction… what they described…” Jord put his hands on Nikandros’ shoulders. “No one could survive that.”

“We have to send someone to look for him and the rest of the missing men.” Nik shook his head. “I can not tell Laurent until I am sure.”

Against his hope that he would have more time to think about what to say, how to frame things, Laurent had already woken up. As soon as Nikandros stepped into the room, Laurent blanched and Nikandros knew he had seen the cape. And knew what it meant. Laurent rose up and took the cape into his hands. He fell to his knees. Nikandros thought about leaving, to give Laurent a moment alone. But then the king of Vere threw himself on the floor, hitting his head on the stone.

“Damen!” Laurent cried out. “He promised me he would come back! What am I going to do without him? We were supposed to do this together! I can not do it alone.”

Then Nikandros understood the scope of it: Laurent was Damen’s husband. They had no heir, unless Kastor’s son was counted, and he was still a babe. Laurent would have to rule the empire alone. A chill ran down Nikandros’ back as he thought of this Laurent as emperor: bitter and sad and weary.

He descended next to Laurent and pulled him into his arms. 

“You are not going to do it alone.” Nikandros thought about telling Laurent that no body had been found. He decided against it. He would tell him later. Laurent’s tears and the mud from the cape dirtied them both. Laurent’s screams rang in Nikandros’ ears, as he held Laurent close, making sure he could not hurt himself anymore. Once all fight was gone from Laurent, Nikandros chose to open his mouth again.

“There was no body. They did not find him yet. There is still hope.”

The baths were empty. Nikandros had thought about carrying Laurent, but it would be too intimate. Instead, he walked close enough to catch Laurent if it was needed. So far, Laurent had stayed on his legs, even if they were shaking. They had bathed together before, but always Damen between them. Nikandros undressed and went into the water, keeping his back to Laurent.

Nikandros’ words back in Arles came to Laurent’s mind. ‘You are Damen’s family and he is mine. That makes you family to me’. Would it still be true without Damen there? Laurent was linked to Nikandros by Damen’s presence. Without him, they were just two people who did not like each other most of the time. Laurent pulled off his nightshirt. There was mud on it and sweat. Laurent tried not to think about too much of what had passed. There was still hope. The water was steaming hot, it burned the skin. Laurent turned red as a boiled lobster. Usually it made Nikandros laugh and Laurent tear into someone else. This time, neither of them said anything about it.

“I was never taught how to rule,” Laurent said. “Not In Akielos, at least. Or in Vere, either. Auguste was so good at it and they thought he would soon give them an heir. I was not even his spare, more like a pillar to support him. And after Marlas, my Uncle kept me from all the meetings, he had books taken away from the library. I learnt what I could, but it was not much. Damen always tells me how his father prepared him for his sacred duty for his people and for this country. I always envied him for it, but I was relieved at least one of us had that experience. Now…” Laurent rubbed his eyes. “I do not know what to do. If they find his body, there needs to be a funeral. The landslide ruined the road, it has to be fixed. There are still the raiders to deal with.”

“And you are still ill. Let I and the rest of the kyroi deal with that.”

Laurent took a breath.

“This all, it just reminds me too much of my brother. He told me he would come back too. I trusted him, I thought I would always have him by my side.”

“I know something about that. When Kastor sent Damen away.” Nikandros looked down at the rippling water.

“He came back.” Laurent’s implication was clear.

“Yes, yes he did. And I have never been more thankful for anything.”

They returned to Laurent’s chamber. It had been cleaned, as if his meltdown had never happened. Even the wine decanter had been replaced. Laurent filled his empty tea mug with red wine from it. Nikandros wanted to forbid it, but he sensed it would only cause tension.

“You too, kyros. Have some wine.”

Again, Nikandros would have preferred to keep a clear head, but saying no right now, when Laurent was like this, did not seem wise. So he took a glass, making a note to drink slowly.

Laurent had no such qualms, he emptied a mug after another. He began to sway in his chair.

“Tell me Nikandros, now that Damen is dead, you should be happy.” Laurent hiccupped. “You do not have to see me anymore. No more having to ride with us, no more wrestling or other games. You do not need to please Damen by being my friend.”

“Laurent, you know it is not so.” Nikandros moved the decanter farther away from Laurent.

“Is it not? I am your family, because Damen views me as belonging to his. He no longer links us together.”

Nikandros knew that last time Laurent had lost his whole family at once. He did not know how to tell him that it would not be the case now. 

“Maybe I should let you fuck me,” Laurent said. “That is how I got Damen, after all. That is how I kept my Uncle, when everyone else was gone.” Laurent stood up from his chair and started opening his trousers. “And I have never met a man who did not want to fuck me.”

Nikandros stopped him. He took a hold of Laurent’s wrist, a tight hold.

“You have met me. I know we do not always get along well, but that does not mean we are not family. I care for you, as Damen’s husband, yes. But also as your own person. Will we be the same without Damen? No, but that does not mean I will leave you alone. I will still be here. Making sure you do not bring Damen’s legacy to ruin with your Veretian ways.” Nikandros tried to lighten the mood with his last line.

Laurent’s eyes watered.

“He is gone, isn’t he?”

Nikandros let go of him. “We can not be sure of it yet, but we should ready ourselves for the possibility of it.”

Laurent sat down on the floor, next to Nikandros’ feet. “I dreamed of this, you know.”

“Yes, you told me about the mudslide.”

Laurent shook his head. “No, I meant before Damen left. I told him I had a bad feeling, a sense of foreboding. But he would not listen. I could have made him listen.”

Nikandros had no idea what to say. He closed his eyes and called for Damen to come back, otherwise Laurent would blame himself for what happened.

“In Akielos, when someone is lost, we light a candle to help them find their way home,” Nikandros instructed Laurent, “do you want to try it?”

Laurent nodded. They left the wine behind and found a place by the window. 

The next morning Nikandros was the first to awake. They had fallen asleep by the window, with the candle in front of them. Sleep had claimed Laurent first and Nikandros had dragged a blanket over him. Sleeping on the cold stone floor was bad enough for his health. Nikandros rose up and looked out of the window. The sight made him doubt his own mind for a second and then he was running into the courtyard.

Damen was there. Without his cloak or his horse, his face and arms had scratches on them, his chiton was brown from mud and he was breathing heavily. But he was there. Nikandros pulled him into a hug. He felt Damen relax.

“How is Laurent? He was so worried when I left.”

Nikandros laughed, with tears in his eyes. “He is still asleep. Let us go wake him.”

Damen smiled. “I knew you would take care of him.”

Usually the comment would have been taken as teasing and treated as such, but now Nikandros did not care. He grabbed Damen’s arm and they both raced to Laurent. When the door opened, Laurent threw himself at Damen, who caught him with ease. This was the second time Laurent’s nightshirt had got mud on it in a day, but he did not care.

**Author's Note:**

> hello its me again (jove wanted Nikandros feeding Laurent)  
> title is from Louise Glück's "The Empty Glass"  
> (what's with me and damen coming in last minute dirty af???)
> 
> this was done as a request:  
> https://nikandlaurent.tumblr.com/
> 
> as always i love commentd and hearing from you!!!
> 
> P.S there were some references to my fic "eyes like sinking ships", which you can read  
> [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616301)


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